Hey, guys!

  I'm so terrible with journals...  It's been over a year since my last entry!!  Oh, my gosh!  I just thought it was time to update everyone.

  In case you haven't been paying any attention at all to my uploads, I have studied abroad in both Scotland and Japan since I last updated my journal.  Scotland for four months and Japan for one.  I'm now a senior in college!  Time certainly does fly!

  Since I first discovered that Japan existed in late elementary school, I have felt inexplicably drawn to Japan and its culture.  I can't really describe my connection to it, but it's just this strong feeling inside me that I have to be there.  In Japanese, I could say, "気持です,” and everyone would completely understand.  I wasn't sure whether or not actually going to Japan would change this.  You know, maybe it was just me being crazy for over 10 years or something.  But, going to Japan has only solidified this feeling.  Every single day, probably at least once an hour, I yearn for Japan.  I felt... normal... as soon as I stepped off the plane.  It feels normal to be in America, too, but Japan feels right.  Personally, I believe in past lives and that I definitely lived in Japan in at least one of them.  Regardless, my soul has something to do in Japan and I intend to be there.

  Now, it is my goal to live in Japan after I graduate.  I will most likely be teaching English, which I'll probably enjoy.  I now know people and have a Japanese family (who hosted me during my stay and I miss them terribly) to come home to.  Once again, I love my real family and I always will.  Nothing can ever change that.  I will always love America and I think it's a wonderful and beautiful country.  I will always be American.  However, I don't think I'm supposed to be in America.

  I don't know, this is just me rambling on about my feelings.  All of this is true, but my feelings aren't fully articulated yet.

  If any of you have felt inexplicably drawn to places like I am, please tell me about your experiences!  It's always good to know you're not alone, right?

  I love you guys, even if I don't update my journal much

Love,

Lauren

PS: I made a vlog of my trip to Japan!  If any of you would like to see it, go here: [link]